Lessons That Have Taken Me 18 Years to Learn

So, yes, I am back! Exciting, exciting, well my purpose of this ground breaking, silence breaking, blog post is well number one, I miss writing. Number two, these last few months have truly been eye opening for several things in my life.

Before I dive in to a semi-serious life lesson blog lets see how we have been! Well I have a rugby team finally after searching high and low forever I have a great group of girls

Marli and I are fantastic, school is going great. I have my 4.0 still and hopefully transferring to University of Texas at Arlington, YAY! 

We are surrounding ourselves with positive people and people who can make us better in one way or another. I am beyond blessed as of late for my teammate and best friend who has been keeping me sane recently.

And for the nosey folk looking for my love life, maybe next time.

~~~

#1. People are not nice and people are not all genuine. I get that people change and situations change, it happens to the best of us, but at the end of the day, you do not disrespect someone that has been there since day one. My biggest and most important part of any friendship or relationship is respect, I have been walked over my whole life because I was labeled the girl who was always "nice" I have always been a pushover. This year has changed that, I have started to acknowledge when I have stepped too far in the nice area for someone who does not reciprocate it. 

#2. Forgiveness is okay, forgiving someone for a mistake or for even something more serious is okay. Forgiveness is good for your heart and mind, you do not forget, but it is perfect to give someone forgiveness even if it was not asked for. 

#3. Everything can be turned into a lesson, you learn from all aspects of life. 

#4. Things have to get worse before they can get better.

That is really all I have on this fine September Afternoon while my tiny boss is fast asleep dreaming of Chick Fil a and juice boxes. On that note I am going to be more consistent, it feels soooo good after so long to finally write it out. Well always find the positives in your day and try to better yourself one day at a time!💗

P.S. I promise the next one will not be serious and I will attempt to be comical even though my mom is the only one that reads this stuff anyways.

-Laurin, the "Me" in Marli and Me

Why I Workout

Okay,  so, here is the dealio, I am going into my second round of camp gladiator and my sixth week of consistent workouts, gaining at least five workouts in a week. I have gotten several weird looks when I say, "Oh yeah, I work out about five times a week," they expect me to just be a small person because I workout. I never really understood this mindset, but most people associate size with our exercise and diet. I mean sure, it is ALL a factor, but at the end of the day my biggest, BIGGEST pet peeve is,

"How much are you wanting to lose?"

Well, uhm, that is not my mindset anymore. Numbers, numbers, NUMBERS. Numbers seem to run our health, weight, pants size, and waist size. Numbers do not describe me, how I feel about MYSELF defines me. 

You know what, if this is your mindset then more power to you, I just know personally, I do not look like I weigh as much as I do. My weight that I would need to be to not be considered "overweight" is definitely not really attainable, I have not been that size since freshman year of high school. After a baby, depression, and currently breastfeeding, my body is not the same. My hips are a little wider, my waist is not as small, and I have stretch marks like everywhere. I could easily scare you into never having children if I showed my stretch marks, I mean come on, I can't be tall, pretty, and smart right? God had to make it fair. I kid, I kid, maybe.

 As a common courtesy, do not ask about a weight loss journey unless they bring it up, I know I reached pre-pregnancy weight and I am working on being a better version of myself. 

These weeks have been humbling, tiring, and empowering. 

Am I dying? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I doubt myself some days? ABSOLUTELY.

Do I sometimes want to skip my workout and go right back to sleep? Well I mean of course, 4:30 am is not pretty for anyone, 

This was actually encouraged by one of my awesome trainers, she is the proof that numbers are just that, numbers. 

Why I workout is because I want to be healthier, why I pass on the fries and bread is because I want to be healthier. Not just physically, but mentally I am so much better off than I was a few weeks ago before I knew some amazing people. 

Monkey see, Monkey do, besides myself my motivation is Marli. I am hoping she will be able to join me for workouts in a few years and I can be the example she needs as her mom. 

Being a single teen mom, I mean obvi I do not get a whole lot of time to myself, but workout is what I look forward to almost every single day. People call me weird, but I mean which is better for you? Negativity? Absolutely not. 

Things may not be bright right now, you may be hurting, you may be going through a hard time, but you WILL get through whatever you are going through. It WILL make you stronger and there is ALWAYS a rainbow after the storm.

Looking back, I am really proud of how I look now and how far I have come!

Short, sweet, and pretty much to the point today. Do not forget, spread positivity one day at a time!💓

-Laurin, the "Me" in Marli and Me 

Long Time, No Blog

So, uhm it has been like three months since my last blog. I have had plenty of drama, school, and positive events in my life. I started eating low carb again and I am in my fourth week of Camp Gladiator, it is fun and challenging. I am pretty excited to get back into shape.

~~~

I will soon be considered a sophomore in college after this semester and I recently was added to the Dean's List of my college, as well as invited to join the Phi Theta Kappa Honor Society. I do not mean to toot my own horn, but I am extremely proud of myself and what I have accomplished. My big goal that I am trying to achieve is perfectly on track right now. 

~~~

We had a birthday party in March for one of our good friends Sloane, her mom and I are good friends and eventually the girls hopefully will be too. 

Marli's new favorite food is a cupcake, if you could not tell. 

~~~

I know, everyone is itching to hear about the main humor for my blogs, or lack there of. I have been on a few dates, definitely a step up from where I was, but I am pretty content on where I am. I am a busy girl, I have hardly any time for my blogs let alone a boyfriend. I mean come on, when you have a daughter as cute as mine, nobody has time to deal with boys. 

~~~

Most people know I have a best friend, his name is Kyle and we have been friends for YEARS, so I was messing with him how I wanted a promposal. Well, he came through so I have a pretty awesome date and fun fact, we went to our first homecoming game together back in 2011.

~~~

So, it is short and sweet, nothing exciting, but I wanted to break my silence because honestly I missed it and love my little blog here. Make your life positive one day at a time, it gets better and one rough year should not define who you are. 💓

-Laurin, the "Me" in Marli and Me 

Just Take a Second and Relish Every Moment

So, it has been a whole month since I have blogged. I know, I suck. I started my second semester of school yesterday and have had a hell of a month. It has been a rough little time for Marli and I but, we are doing pretty awesome.

We have learned a few things in the last month, some people never learn, and people are not always who they make themselves out to be. I am leaving it at that. This person knows who they are and I do not like to focus on negativity in mine or my daughter's life.

~~~

MARLI TURNED 1!

Definitely a crazy day and an awesome party at that!

~~~

We did quite a bit of stuff in this last month, Marli slept in her crib for the first time, I got called a terrible parent for the first time, and I have realized time really needs to slooowwwww dowwwwnnnn. 

Today, at like 3 in the morning I woke up, it is usual in case she needs to nurse etc. but I just laid there and watched her. Weird right? If you are a parent you can relate to this in every way, the squished lips, the crazy hair, and that deep breath they take when they finally pass out for the night   (or at least a few hours). It is fascinating, I created her, care for her, nourish her, and am her personal punching bag, it is amazing. At that moment she did not look like my little baby, she looks like a little girl. Growing everyday, she now runs, and she is too smart for her own good. 

It is times like these I am happy to not have to share those little moments with anyone else. At the same time, everything is not perfect and enjoyable everyday. I have to take care of the sick child who just wants to play but she has snot running down her nose, some days her teeth hurt so bad she takes it out on everyone else. I LOVE those moments that I get everyday, the smiles, giggles, and even the times she likes to bite me cause she thinks it is funny. I earned these great moments and it makes life just that more enjoyable.

~~~

Of course, on that dumb "On This Day" thing on Facebook I get shown little newborn Marli! Fills my heart with joy everytime I see it!

I mean she was in no means "little" she was almost 9 pounds but compared to now she is tiny.

~~~

If anyone wants an update on my love life, (I know not REALLY unless you are one of my stalkers, then enjoy) it is a failure. Like usual, like when you slip on ice and you just fall flat on your face, well that explains my relationship status.

I know, I know, I am totally NOT funny, but I can still try hard. Just as hard as I try to get a date. Eh I joke, but I mean I am not desperate, I am over the norms of society and the dating scene. 

~~~

I went on many trips to Target on my month away, shocker. Surprise, more Starbucks. My caffeine addiction has not gotten any better at all. Honestly, my life is pretty ordinarily boring, nothing exciting. So enjoy the gif of a pug with dentures.

                     

Make your life more positive one day at a time guys, every moment, every text, every post on social media, and everyday, just find one thing that is positive. 💗

-Laurin, the "Me" in Marli and Me 💗

Things to Not ask a Mom That is Extended Breastfeeding.

Marli will be 1 in 9 days. So, that means I will be getting those concerns on my boobs. I will be breastfeeding for as long as we want to.

1. Why?

This just explains it all. 

2. How?

 

Well, the child latches on to a boob. Like she has done for the last 12 months of her life. DUH

3. Isn't she too old to breastfeed?

Since everyone is a breastfeeding expert, it is actually normal in other countries to breastfeed till at least 4.

4. When are you going to stop?

Hmmm, well I am trying to decide between 3 and 18, either way I DO NOT NEED YOUR INPUT.

5. What will you do when you get a boyfriend?

I will continue to take care of my child? Not your tits not your problem. 

6. Are you going to do that in public?

You know it.

~~~

Do not look down at someone for parenting choices. Not your boobs, not your problem. I love the bond I have with my daughter and will breastfeed as long as we desire to!!

To people who look down on me or judge me for it, enjoy me breastfeeding and giving you a dirty look for a change.

My blog was different today, but I had fun with it. PEACE ✌

-Laurin, the "Me" in Marli and Me

Coffee, Coffee, and more Coffee

I would like to elaborate on something. College is not harder than high school at least for me anyways, I have taken 2 finals and I still have 4 to go. My week is packed, on Tuesday I have a 2 hour long exam for math, Wednesday my Theatre final is due, Thursday I have my comp final and my history final.

I am exhausted just thinking about it honestly. I just need to make it through this week and I will feel so accomplished, last year at this time I was uber pregnant and still preparing for Marli to come around. I am now almost done with my first semester and I have already registered for my next semester.

Marli's second trip to the Stockyards was a success!

~~~

My challenge from last week, I accomplished it! Sort of? I mean it was Facebook and messaging but it counts right? It is a big step for me. 

I also informed my parents that if I could marry myself  I would, cause lets be honest there is nobody as perfect for me is myself. 

~~~

So, I always like to say I have no friends, well, that is a lie. I realized this weekend I have more friends than I give credit. I have friends from theatre, from tennis, and a lot of people still in high school. We are just in different points, but when we get the chance we do socialize and I love when we do get that small amount of time. So, to them, thank you!

This weekend has been bittersweet. The people I went to high school with, my senior class this year, they had their fall show.  It was supposed to be my last fall show. I loved seeing everyone, but I also wanted to just crawl in a corner and cry because I was supposed to be up there with them. I know that is how the majority of this school year will go. 

I am not sad I had Marli. I am sad with everything I gave up, I still continue to sacrifice everyday. I am the only one that has sacrificed and still do. It sucks. It is the only thing I can say on it, it sucks. 

Take advantage of everything, I didn't expect for my sophomore year to be my last fall show. Theatre meant so much to me and still does till this day. I guess for me I did not get the closure I wanted, I didn't get to do every one's "lasts." No last first day, no last fall show, no last football game, no last tennis match, and no senior year. 

It sucks. 

~~~

On a positive note I passed a test I didn't finish 3 out of the 20 questions and forgot 2 formulas. Hallelujah!

I have had a few people come to me about writing a short story. Here is my dilemma. I can write, sure. I am not creative though, like, at all. 

I am not a violent person, but there are a few people in this world that I would really like to throat punch. Just a few people, like the guy that cut me off in traffic, compulsive liars, and whoever it was that got the last cake pop at Starbucks. 

~~~

I got to wear shorts today. On December 11, 2016, I WORE SHORTS. I was wearing my letterman on Saturday and shorts on Sunday. I was enjoying the cold. Well played Texas, well played. 

Countdown, 16 days till my baby is 1. I am still only like 5 minutes pregnant. Like honestly how is life moving this fast? How is this even possible. 

Also I am on day 20 that my tinder app hasn't worked. How am I supposed to find Prince Charming now? (TOTALLY JOKING) But for real, I enjoy telling guys the only nudes I am into are heels and lipstick. Definitely gets a reaction everytime, and a block. DISCLAIMER: Never have I actually met anyone off this ratchet site. 

~~~

Remember, go out of your way to be positive, give a compliment, and make your life more positive one day at a time.💗

-Laurin the "Me" in Marli and Me💓

Hello December!

We are only 4 days in and it is going to be one eventful month, I have finals next week, Christmas, then Marli's first birthday party, and then New Years. There will definitely be no stops  in this month.

We are going to need coffee, fires, fuzzy blankets, and lots of snuggle time with my favorite princess! She will be one in 23 days!! I don't want to believe this craziness. I refuse because I am still only like 5 minutes pregnant right? RIGHT?? 

It has been a crazy year, an emotional roller coaster, and definitely one I will never forget. 

Could not help the stereotypical Starbucks selfie!

Lipstick smudges and Peppermint Mocha explained my day perfectly!

~~~

Today we took some pictures, they were just for fun to help my mom kick off her business! We loved helping out the family today for pictures. 

This is a perfect example of our pictures today, miss priss was not cooperating.

Hey Marli Faye!

Almost the last one, I promise! Maybe....

I have mixed feelings about my face honestly.

Y'all get the point, I may be a little obsessed with posting pictures! I mean on one side she is only little once, I want to have all these pictures for her to look back on and smile. 

~~~

Last Wednesday we went downtown with my best friends, Marli's first time going to Sundance Square and you could say she enjoyed it!

I'm so thankful for some awesome friends, they can be a pain in my butt, but they have always been there through everything. (Yes, I said butt but, I'm ashamed because I giggled) We have been friends since we were like 4 and 5, I can't believe how awesome they are!

~~~

Serious time, I am so stressed. My finals are next week and I know I shouldn't be, but I am scared. Prayers would definitely be appreciated this week!

~~~

On Friday, I was able to have a small amount of freedom. I was required to go see it for my theatre class, but I honestly loved it. The Laramie Project was presented by the Tarrant County College at the Northwest campus. I am pretty sure I met my professor, since my wallet was stolen I did not have my ID and he asked for my teacher. I completely butchered my teachers last name and he corrected me. I was mortified. I am embarrassed to even turn in an assignment anymore.

~~~

You know, there are certain types of moms, none bad at all, just everyone is different. I cloth diaper, I breastfeed, we do baby led weaning, and I am pretty darn "crunchy" I guess you could say. If I am breastfeeding in public and you decide to make a face or a comment I make no promises on what will happen to you, maybe some milk to the face, a comment back, or me telling you to shove it up your a**. 

Honestly, I'm full of crap. I am so non-confrontational it is bad. I won't even go up to the cute guy at Pizza Hut who is getting my pizza. Oh, a cute guy in scrubs at Pei Wei that I have been making awkward eye contact with for 20 minutes? We are basically married he just doesn't know it. Do I dare go up to him? Hell no I will not. 

Now you may be thinking, "How will she get a date if she is so shy and doesn't put herself out there?" That is a great question my fine reader. I haven't thought that through yet, but when I do you will be the first to know. 

Do you have any cute friends? Family members? Hit your girl up because we know I can't do it on my own. (LOL Joking, kind of) 

~~~

I don't need confidence, I am confident in myself. I am just not too confident with men, what if I gain courage and they have a girlfriend? Can you say AWKWARD. Or you know just not interested in getting to know me? I guess I will never know unless I try.

For y'all, within the next 2 weeks I will have a story. My goal is to approach at least one guy just so I can gain experience and a story. Just wait, this will be amusing or successful we will see which one. 

~~~

Stay positive and live a happier life one day at a time!💗

-Laurin, the "Me" in Marli and Me